Novel novels: January 2010

Note: I'm starting to write this series multiple months after I've finished reading the books, so in most cases I don't remember a whole lot. I'll include stuff I remember, including trigger warnings, but I'm not going to remember everything. I hope to rectify this when I catch up and am writing about stuff I just got done reading.

1. Dracula The Un-Dead by Dacre Stoker

• unfinished
• I couldn't even finish this piece of crap. If you had problems with the original Dracula being misogynistic, just wait for this. All of the stuff that Dracula does is Mina's fault, doncha know, but you can't really blame her because what can you expect from a woman. Ugh.

2. Whipping Girl: A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity by Julia Serano

• 4.5 stars
• The thing I remember taking away from this book is an adjustment to my idea of gender. Specifically, before I read this I had the opinion that gender is entirely a social construction, that it is not based at all on the body. The opposite of gender essentialism, basically, is what I held. Now I'm somewhere in between, and I think it changes from person to person. Some people's gender is more affected by the body or by socialisation, or both, than other people's is.

3. Daughters of the North by Sarah Hall

• 3.5 stars

4. The Women's Room by Marilyn French

• 3 stars

5. The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi

• 3.5 stars
• Liked the concept, liked the world/scenario, wish I had liked the actual writing better.

6. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Anne Barrows

• 3 stars

7. The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

• 2.5 stars
• I picked up and started reading this book without reading the synopsis, as I was attracted by the title. I was expecting something perhaps quasi-zen, or like The Secret, but what I got was a woman who couldn't accept the horrible things happening in her life, so she convinced herself that they weren't happening. The book was okay, as far as it went, but I was expecting something much different.

8. Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore

• 3 stars
• Mildly amusing. Not as original as the reviews want you to think, I've definitely read Biblical rewrites I like better, but it's okay, as far as it goes.

9. Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Nqozi Adichie

• 3.5 stars
• Trigger warning for child/parent conflict

10. We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson

• 4 stars
• Loved this story! Love the way you have to try to piece together what's going on before it's revealed. Love the quasi-Gothic setting.

11. The Accidental by Ali Smith

• 3.5 stars

12. The Book of Night with Moon by Diane Duane

• 4.5 stars
• Good for anyone who considers their cat to be a person in hir own right. This book is responsible for introducing words such as hauissh (The Game), ehhif (human) and ffheih (spayed/neutered cat) into my household's vernacular.

13. The Whole World Over by Julia Glass

• 4 stars
• Enjoyable, kind of like something Elizabeth Berg would write, but with a better plot and better writing. I remember liking the partially stereotype-defying characters.

14. White Teeth by Zadie Smith

• 3 stars
• Enjoyed parts, but it seemed to drag.

15. Liar by Justine Larbalesteier

• 3 stars
• Basic young adult supernatural fluff. The only way this book kept my attention was by employing several 180-degree plot twists.

Scoring system is as follows:

1 star = hated

1.5 stars = didn't enjoy, but didn't hate

2 stars = didn't enjoy particularly

2.5 stars = enjoyed somewhat

3 stars = enjoyed, but might not read again

3.5 stars = would probably read again

4 stars = would like to own a copy

4.5 stars = would like to own a copy, and would probably read occasionally

5 stars = would like to own a copy, and would probably read often

Thoughts on fat-shaming and mental health

[TW for discussion about mental health, mention of abuse]

Today on Shakesville, Liss posted two discussion threads about fat hatred, one for sharing stories about you fat-shaming someone and one for stories about people fat-shaming you.

And I'm sure I have many stories about both, but what's coming to mind is my grandmother talking to me about my mother.

Specifically, sharing with me, whenever my mother had lost a bunch of weight, that she was happy.

Thing is, aside from the part where she shouldn't be policing her daughter's weight, what she doesn't understand is that (almost always) my mother losing a great deal of weight is a sign of a manic period of her bipolar disorder. This "good thing", this "reason to celebrate" is in fact evidence that my mother's mental health is not the greatest, a fact which my grandmother refuses to recognize, just as she refuses to recognize that my mother has been abusive.

And I don't feel like I can share this with the Shakesville community at large, for one because it's not about me, it's about my mom, but mostly because it's hard to concisely articulate all the issues surrounding the story.

In trying to be an ally against ableism*, I feel it's part of my duty** to respect people's choices regarding their mental health. Seeking treatment, taking meds, all of that is the decision of each person, and it's not up to me to police their decisions.

That said, I am the daughter of someone who had undiagnosed bipolar disorder for more than a decade, and who, after diagnosis, has not adhered to the treatment plan set out for her by her doctors. I firmly believe that my mother having bipolar disorder is not an excuse for her totally crap parenting of me and my siblings.

I don't know whether or not her abusive and neglectful behaviours were caused (entirely) by the disorder. I don't know if it's possible to know that. I do know that when you have children, it's your responsibility to care for them. Perhaps especially when you go out of your way to have children, through adoption.

As her daughter, I can't help but wonder if she had gotten diagnosed right away and followed the treatment plan if my life wouldn't have been so fucked up, if my sister's life wouldn't have been so fucked up, if my brothers would grow up to be better men than I fear they're going to grow up to be.

But I feel that I can't talk about this in a space that has been designated as an ableism-free space. So I don't really know what to say.

* An ally at this point, because I'm still on the fence about deciding if I identify as a disabled person or not.

** Duty in a good sense -- not something others put on me, but things I have decided that I want to do.